I am euphoric today, because I have an intelligent, gorgeous, all around amazing wife, a not so bad life, a good breakfast, and some exercise. Naturally, this is a perfect time to dump some free-floating hostility.

Note: These aren’t directed at my friends, but I thought random passers-by might find a nugget of useful information here. I might become another Dr. Phil! I don’t mean any of this personally to anyone, please don’t take it that way.

An accident is when something unexpected or unintended happens. Unless you are raped, you cannot accidentally have sex with someone. Especially if you both expected and wanted it to happen. If you don’t want to have sex with someone, don’t. This can be extended to most things: if you don’t want to do X, don’t.

This might be getting complicated, so let’s look at an example scene.

Julia1: I really want to stop drinking myself into a coma every weekend at high school parties. I’m 23, it’s time I did something with my life.

Alcoholic Friends: Hey Julia, do you want to go to a high-school party with us? We’re taking a keg and a bunch of pot!

Julia: Sure!

Now I’m going to stop them right here. Did anyone notice what happened? That’s right, Julia is a fucking moron. She has always been a slave to peer pressure, because she is weak. She will probably always be a slave to peer pressure, and if she survives past thirty, she’ll raise children who will be slaves to peer pressure.

Back to sex specifically, it’s no good trying to use the excuse that it all just happened so fast. Now, I’ve had sex a time or two, and unless you’re sleeping with The Flash, there should be at least a few seconds where you can give pause to contemplate your actions.

If someone you’re with puts a date rape drug in your drink, and you see it happen but drink it anyway, thinking that he just really wanted it, you’re a fucking moron. See above. Furthermore, if you continue to date said rapist, telling yourself that he must really like you to go to all the trouble, you need to seek help for being a fucking moron.

In conclusion, you have the right to not do whatever you don’t want to do.
[1] Names are made up

Drugs make you stupid. Even pot. I know, I’ve heard all about the studies, but if you can never remember where you hide your stash, that’s a sign.

I’m not going to tell anyone to stop taking drugs, that is a personal decision. But if you complain about loss of memory, inability to focus, poor decisions (see above), or wearing assless chaps, then talk about taking drugs without putting the two together, you shouldn’t get mad when someone puts them together for you. I think the psychiatric mumbo jumbo for it is denial.

I’m all for legalizing drugs. My position is that it’s your body, and if you want to treat it like a chemistry set that’s your choice. But if you come crying to me when you burn your house down, expect a whack on the head.

If you leave the comment feature on, you shouldn’t complain when people comment. It’s your journal, so post private or turn off comments. Or maybe you’re just doing it for the attention?

If you’ve made it this far, I’m impressed. You’re very dedicated. Anyway, I know this is all very hypocritical of me. Too bad. Go take a walk or something, stop reading this stupid entry.