Today I followed a tricked out Lexus for a couple miles. I could tell it was one of those guys who wants to be cool, but he’s just rich. Not only did he have a permanent cellular antenna (who has those anymore?), his right turn signal was on the whole time.

I saw a black Lambourghini (I’m not going to bother looking that up) a few weeks ago. It drove past me, and it looked just like a panther tensing up to pounce. A very cool, angular panther that could have been designed by Lockheed.

I went to Jack in the Box at 2 AM the other night, and there were about ten cars in line. I would assume that is a rush for 2 AM, but the employees were not swayed from their smoke breaks. They just sat there and looked at us waiting.

Isn’t it cool how the word “boobs” so resembles them?

I want to apologize for flooding all the people who have me on their friends page.

“…Where he studied animal husbandry, until they caught him at it one day…”

Will we always be paying more for less of an increasingly inferior product? Sooner or later we’ll just give companies our bank account numbers and get nothing in return. Well, W’s gotta have dreams.

People take me far too seriously.

I enjoy singing along with musicals in my car. I even do all the voices. But I’m not gay. Something’s gone horribly wrong.

The people protesting outside the Americas free trade talks had signs that read, “Welcome to the Corporate World.” Aren’t they twenty years too late in welcoming everyone?

“You look like you could use a massage.” <gay porn music>