I’ve known a few pagans in my life, and it recently occured to me that they’re all bums. I don’t necessarily mean they live on the street; there is nothing wrong with that. I mean that their undying faith in hedonism interferes with their participation with reality. Just think, on what kind of cars have you seen pro-pagan bumper stickers? I’ve never seen one on a nice car. If you know a pagan, ask yourself if you’ve ever known them to hold a job without complaint, spend money wisely, say stupid things that make no sense like relating wrist pain and herb/mineral placement in one’s house, hold predictions/wishes/incantation/evocations that only come true about half the time as undeniable proof that they are sane, be way too intense with friendships, be generally confused about what a productive, adult life is like.

Pagans are bums; it’s pretty much a requirement of being a true believer. It could be argued that they’re happier free of the trappings of a material existence. It could also be argued that they still want material wealth, they just lack the means to acquire it, and their complete lack of productivity is a drain on society. It could really go either way.