President George W. Bush 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. Washington, D.C.

Dear President Bush,

I would like to extend my warmest wishes for your upcoming vacation. Rumor has it that you will be taking a whole month away from the hectic life of leading this country! And who can blame you? Sometimes you just need to take a break. I’m about ready for one myself, to tell you the truth. I haven’t had a vacation since the beginning of 2001, right after you were “elected.” I spent January and February at my parent’s house, because I had been downsized during the beginning of the tech sector crash. I think you were spending that period of time on your ranch, but you might have read about it in the newspapers. My chance for a vacation should be coming up soon, though. Statistically, I have a 25% chance of finding an equally or higher paying job! I’d play those odds any day!

I hope you have a great time on your ranch, and don’t worry about the silly problems America is facing right now. They’ll all be here when you get back. Don’t let those UN bastards give you any grief! We’re number one!

Sincerely, Alex Midgley