Slim Jims contain soy protein. So eat up.

Does anybody know about a better defragmenter for NTFS? The one that came with Win2k sucks ass. I’d write my own, but I don’t want to back up 20 GB

The Kansas City Zoo was having trouble with an out of control goose population making their homes on the side of paths, begging for food, getting pushy with kids. So they rounded them up, processed them, and donated the food to homeless shelters. What a coincidence.

Pedagogy: The practice of learning to be a gym teacher, literally “the study of walking it off.”

Our new dog ran away this morning. We got her from the SPCA on Wednesday. She was a lot older than we thought (they told us they couldn’t tell how old she was, which is BS). She also had kennel cough, which was a lot worse than it seemed. We think she decided to go find a quiet place to die.

I feel bad because we took on the responsibility of taking care of her, and we failed. I’m trying to convince myself that we made her feel loved, fed, and comfortable in her last few days, and that we gave her the dignity of dying free, but it’s still upsetting.

I don’t want to save up to 80% on printer cartridges. I don’t need help to be debt free by 2003. I don’t have military benefits waiting. Oprah has not found my lost inheritance. I don’t want free gas coupons. I don’t dream of being thinner or enlarging my penis without surgery. I don’t need millions of verified email addresses. I don’t care what you and your nineteen year-old roommates do in front of your webcam. I don’t want top secret stock advice, money making tricks, or porn site passwords. I wouldn’t use one thousand free hours. I don’t need to know what my personal psychic thinks. I have an unsecured VISA, and I don’t want the prestige of gold, the power of platinum, or the strength of titanium. It’s not everywhere I want to be. I’ve traced my family tree. I don’t need a better mortgage.

I have no more use for email.

The door at the store pulls open. Of course, most people push it, then look at it confused until they realize they need to pull on it. It was robbed in February, and the gun-toting crooks were so energetic they just pushed right through the door and broke the hinge.

Silence encircles Impenetrable blanket Unyielding pressure

Is it possible to defeat an enemy without roots? We couldn’t beat the viet cong because they had no bases to take, no lines to break. No matter how far we pushed, we couldn’t hold any ground. They were like water, flowing around our small pockets of force. Our “war on terrorism” is the same thing, on a global scale. We’re fighting a fluid enemy that has no base of operations, no dedicated communication network, no leader, no rules. How can you defeat something like that?