Archive for May, 2002:

Maybe you know a pagan…

I’ve known a few pagans in my life, and it recently occured to me that they’re all bums. I don’t necessarily mean they live on the street; there is nothing wrong with that. I mean that their undying faith in hedonism interferes with their participation with reality. Just think, on what kind of cars have you seen pro-pagan bumper stickers? I’ve never seen one on a nice car. If you know a pagan, ask yourself if you’ve ever known them to hold a job without complaint, spend money wisely, say stupid things that make no sense like relating wrist pain and herb/mineral placement in one’s house, hold predictions/wishes/incantation/evocations that only come true about half the time as undeniable proof that they are sane, be way too intense with friendships, be generally confused about what a productive, adult life is like.

Pagans are bums; it’s pretty much a requirement of being a true believer. It could be argued that they’re happier free of the trappings of a material existence. It could also be argued that they still want material wealth, they just lack the means to acquire it, and their complete lack of productivity is a drain on society. It could really go either way.

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Free Floating, Well Meaning Hostility

  • Fuck Jeremy, Jason, and Mike for making me get ICQ and start reading LJo again.
  • Fuck my contacts for drying out so fast in my eyes.
  • Fuck me for staying up to late and falling into my old habits.
  • Fuck my stories for not wanting to be told.
  • Fuck the violin for being so bitchy and hard to coax into music.
  • Fuck ancient Greek for having irregular verbs with twenty some-odd forms to memorize.
  • <not well meaning>Fuck my sister for not being what she used to be, and fuck her loser husband for dragging her down and giving her the welfare “I don’t have to do what I don’t want to, someone will take care of me” attitude.
  • Fuck alcoholic beverages for being both tasty and expensive.
  • Fuck the central valley for being so damn hot.
  • Fuck the Pepsi that spilled in my car.
  • Fuck the net nanny services that will now ban my journal for having written “fuck.”
  • Fuck Dilbert’s boss, for being so familiar. And fuck Wally too, that little prick.
  • Fuck all this slow, bloated, over-featured, over-flashy, resource-hogging, broken, buggy software that people actually pay for.

End

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The Beginning of World War III

In the future, people will look on the last twenty months or so as the beginning of the third world war. I’ll explain myself later.

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Colorgenics

This site is pretty cool. And it’s poop free, I promise. It’s one of those personality test things, but you just pick colors instead of answering questions. It’s groovy.

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Having a shitty day?

Maybe this will rectify the situation

A lot of impressive crap here

This might clear the air

And bringing up the rear

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