I just got spam from Heald. It’s always so funny when you get spam from someplace that you are connected to. I often get spam from one of the companies that I used to work for.

My wife finally convinced me to watch this movie with her. She hadn’t seen it before either. I’ve heard a few good things about it, but they were all damn lies. This movie was awful, and the qwiditch match sucked too. The kid that played Harry read flatter than Jake Lloyd, moved more awkwardly than anyone I’ve ever seen in a movie, and had less facial expression than a muppet. I understand the story was for kids, so the seemingly undirected meanderings, heavy handed foreshadowing, and in your face morals are excusable.

I can understand why kids like it, but I can’t see why adults would have recommended it to me.

This post is pretty funny.

Jouets duvetes pour chats! Les chats en raffolent! Des heures d’amusement et d’exercice! Pour la securite, surveillez votre petit animal quand il s’amuse avec des jouets. Fabrique en Chine.

I totally want to learn French.

I get upset when people don’t get my jokes. It always happened in school (when I still spoke in school), because I was into Python, Cosby, and that crowd while the rest of the degenerates were laughing at the whispered word ‘penis.’ Don’t get me wrong, I love a good fart joke, but my mind makes very odd associations that I usually find uproariously funny. Unfortunately, I often seem to be the only one.

Example: My mom used to farm goats, and she would feed the baby goats with formula in a washed out beer bottle. So we had a bunch of beer bottles with rubber nipples on them. That’s funny to me.

I’m trying to take a very, “I think it’s funny, I don’t care if you don’t,” attitude, but it’s not really working. Meanwhile, I will continue to make fun of everything. The only thing I don’t like is inciting violence; everything else is fair game.

I’ve known a few pagans in my life, and it recently occured to me that they’re all bums. I don’t necessarily mean they live on the street; there is nothing wrong with that. I mean that their undying faith in hedonism interferes with their participation with reality. Just think, on what kind of cars have you seen pro-pagan bumper stickers? I’ve never seen one on a nice car. If you know a pagan, ask yourself if you’ve ever known them to hold a job without complaint, spend money wisely, say stupid things that make no sense like relating wrist pain and herb/mineral placement in one’s house, hold predictions/wishes/incantation/evocations that only come true about half the time as undeniable proof that they are sane, be way too intense with friendships, be generally confused about what a productive, adult life is like.

Pagans are bums; it’s pretty much a requirement of being a true believer. It could be argued that they’re happier free of the trappings of a material existence. It could also be argued that they still want material wealth, they just lack the means to acquire it, and their complete lack of productivity is a drain on society. It could really go either way.

• Fuck Jeremy, Jason, and Mike for making me get ICQ and start reading LJo again.
• Fuck my contacts for drying out so fast in my eyes.
• Fuck me for staying up to late and falling into my old habits.
• Fuck my stories for not wanting to be told.
• Fuck the violin for being so bitchy and hard to coax into music.
• Fuck ancient Greek for having irregular verbs with twenty some-odd forms to memorize.
• <not well meaning>Fuck my sister for not being what she used to be, and fuck her loser husband for dragging her down and giving her the welfare “I don’t have to do what I don’t want to, someone will take care of me” attitude.
• Fuck alcoholic beverages for being both tasty and expensive.
• Fuck the central valley for being so damn hot.
• Fuck the Pepsi that spilled in my car.
• Fuck the net nanny services that will now ban my journal for having written “fuck.”
• Fuck Dilbert’s boss, for being so familiar. And fuck Wally too, that little prick.
• Fuck all this slow, bloated, over-featured, over-flashy, resource-hogging, broken, buggy software that people actually pay for.

End

In the future, people will look on the last twenty months or so as the beginning of the third world war. I’ll explain myself later.

This site is pretty cool. And it’s poop free, I promise. It’s one of those personality test things, but you just pick colors instead of answering questions. It’s groovy.

Maybe this will rectify the situation

A lot of impressive crap here

This might clear the air

And bringing up the rear