Archive for May, 2002:

Inside joke

I just got spam from Heald. It’s always so funny when you get spam from someplace that you are connected to. I often get spam from one of the companies that I used to work for.

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Harry Potter

My wife finally convinced me to watch this movie with her. She hadn’t seen it before either. I’ve heard a few good things about it, but they were all damn lies. This movie was awful, and the qwiditch match sucked too. The kid that played Harry read flatter than Jake Lloyd, moved more awkwardly than anyone I’ve ever seen in a movie, and had less facial expression than a muppet. I understand the story was for kids, so the seemingly undirected meanderings, heavy handed foreshadowing, and in your face morals are excusable.

I can understand why kids like it, but I can’t see why adults would have recommended it to me.

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Funny Post

This post is pretty funny.

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Je Suis L’Homme De Batte!

Jouets duvetes pour chats! Les chats en raffolent! Des heures d’amusement et d’exercice! Pour la securite, surveillez votre petit animal quand il s’amuse avec des jouets. Fabrique en Chine.

I totally want to learn French.

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Fine Ham Abounds

I get upset when people don’t get my jokes. It always happened in school (when I still spoke in school), because I was into Python, Cosby, and that crowd while the rest of the degenerates were laughing at the whispered word ‘penis.’ Don’t get me wrong, I love a good fart joke, but my mind makes very odd associations that I usually find uproariously funny. Unfortunately, I often seem to be the only one.

Example: My mom used to farm goats, and she would feed the baby goats with formula in a washed out beer bottle. So we had a bunch of beer bottles with rubber nipples on them. That’s funny to me.

I’m trying to take a very, “I think it’s funny, I don’t care if you don’t,” attitude, but it’s not really working. Meanwhile, I will continue to make fun of everything. The only thing I don’t like is inciting violence; everything else is fair game.

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