Can people really have epiphanies and change, or is fiction just fiction?

You guys will never believe this! Today I got an email that will change my life forever! The subject read, “Make $$ fast working from home!” Now, I have to admit I was a little skeptical at first, but the email went on to allay my fears with several first hand testimonials assuring me that this system works. All I have to do is send this guy $100, and he’ll send me the system, then I’ll see you all in the Alps.

Today I followed a tricked out Lexus for a couple miles. I could tell it was one of those guys who wants to be cool, but he’s just rich. Not only did he have a permanent cellular antenna (who has those anymore?), his right turn signal was on the whole time.

I saw a black Lambourghini (I’m not going to bother looking that up) a few weeks ago. It drove past me, and it looked just like a panther tensing up to pounce. A very cool, angular panther that could have been designed by Lockheed.

I went to Jack in the Box at 2 AM the other night, and there were about ten cars in line. I would assume that is a rush for 2 AM, but the employees were not swayed from their smoke breaks. They just sat there and looked at us waiting.

Isn’t it cool how the word “boobs” so resembles them?

I want to apologize for flooding all the people who have me on their friends page.

“…Where he studied animal husbandry, until they caught him at it one day…”

Will we always be paying more for less of an increasingly inferior product? Sooner or later we’ll just give companies our bank account numbers and get nothing in return. Well, W’s gotta have dreams.

People take me far too seriously.

I enjoy singing along with musicals in my car. I even do all the voices. But I’m not gay. Something’s gone horribly wrong.

The people protesting outside the Americas free trade talks had signs that read, “Welcome to the Corporate World.” Aren’t they twenty years too late in welcoming everyone?

“You look like you could use a massage.” <gay porn music>

Isn’t it weird how, even if you hate the job, you feel disappointed at being fired. I did anyway. Even though I was already looking for another job, it felt like they were saying, “You’re just not good enough anymore. You’re more incompetent than your colleagues whose mistakes you correct. You’re so unnecessary to the continuation of this company, and indeed a hindrance to our success, that we’re eliminating your position. You will not be replaced, you are that unnecessary.” I’m not bitter at all

Don’t you just love it when your boss tells you someone is going to to do something, then they tell that person to do something else but forget to tell you? Pumas on hoverbikes, every one of them.

It seems a cruel twist of fate that the doors of public restrooms open in. One must enter an implicit pact that all who use the restroom wash their hands; a pact that I fear is not honored. Why bother washing one’s hands at all if one must touch a filthy handle? That is why I never shake hands with anyone who comes out of a bathroom.

So this is my 72nd entry. In 81 days. How much does that suck? That means I average 0.89 entries per day. If I keep that pace, I’ll have 324.85 entries by 2-1-02. I can’t remember how to do standard deviation (Ted should know), but I think that average is pretty low now. I didn’t post very much in the first few months. Now I just have to figure out how to make 85 hundreths of an entry…

Never ever fold a monkey!

I just found a fencing club in Fresno that does saber! I’ll probably never compete again, but I’ll definitely enjoy it anyway. I just hope I can work it into my schedule.

I’ve been thinking about putting AIM on my workstation here. Would anybody care about talking to me at night between backups?