filed in Uncategorized on Jun.15, 2001
I was “reading” the July Playboy last night, and I realized Miss July is a few months younger than me. It’s just weird, it makes me feel so old.
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I really don’t mean to make you feel worse, but that must be the creepiest feeling.
Dude. “Train in Vain”, by Too Much Joy, is all about that moment, when you realize the Playboy centerfold is younger than you.
Playboy. Making porno tasteful since December 1953.
And giving little boys something good to steal in America for just as long.
“You just get it for the articles”, right?
I get it for naked pictures of beautiful women. Good articles are just a bonus.
Dude think how I feel. I’m twenty eight. Every time I hear about someone famous doing something they turn out to be eighteen an shit. Hell Drew Barrymore has been doing movies for almost twenty years. I think she’s at least two years younger than me. A kid at the mall a few months ago asked me if I was my brother’s father. I don’t think I look like I’d have a 16 year-old son. I feel like I still fit in. I love south park. I listen to STAIND, limp bizkit, Manson, Korn what the fuck. I don’t even get carded for beer or strip clubs anymore. I used to shave and I’d look like a ten year old. I bet if I shaved all my facial hair off now I still wouldn’t get carded. I’m getting old in a young society. Hell eighteen year old rappers own their own record labels. What the fuck!?!?
At least you’re honest about it.
I felt like that in 1994, watching Woodstock on PPV, and discovered that all the members of Green Day were younger than me. I mean, the first time you find out that MUSICIANS are younger than you is freaky. They’re ALWAYS older than you. Ugh. %-)
So you read Playboy? Hon, that isn’t old, that’s …scary. Please tell me you’re lying.
What’s wrong with Playboy?
Nothing, love … it was supposed to be ‘what, you read the damned articles instead of ogling the pictures like everyone else?’
Oh I see. There are some good articles now and then. A few months ago they interviewed Metallica, so we all got to see what whiny little bitches they really are.
The forum is always funny. Eg:
Q: Is it wrong to have sex with my girlfriend when she’s asleep?
A: Do you think you’ll enjoy prison?
*laughing aloud* BEAUTIFUL!!
Metallica can’t help being whiney bitches.
Dude your last name is Midgley? How do you pronounce that?
I’ve tried having sex with some ex’s while they were asleep. I believe I’d worry if they hadn’t all woken up. (PAUSE)
QUESTION: IF IT WORKS; IS YOUR PENIS REALLY SMALL, HER HOLE REALLY BIG OR IS SHE A REALLY HEAVY SLEEPER!?
ANSWER: IF YOU’RE NOT SURE IT’S PROBABLY THE PENIS.
Damn, is that hard to explain. WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? Well um you see, What!? Huh!? What’d you say!? It’s OK, I was asleep too, that happens sometimes they call it “sleep screwing”.
I tried to do it to my ex-wife about seven or so months ago. I had spent the night for some reason I don’t remember why. Since we had just had sex earlier, she woke up and went along with it. But, I hadn’t gotten it in yet so I quess that was the difference. She probably thought I was trying to wake her up with it. I was afraid to wake her up and try to get it twice. I’m pretty sure I had to sneak and get her horny for the first one. That’s how it’s been since we split up. I have to give her the special back rub to get her horny. Sort of catch her with her guard down.
Re: Metallica can’t help being whiney bitches.
“Midg”, like the beginning of midget, then “ley” like the name Lee.
Wait till you’re years and years older than them, then tell me if you feel old..
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